BREAKING NEWS!!!
At last! Finally we now know were whales come from. These creatures are believed to be the last amphibious evolutionary link to whales!!! Recent discoveries prove that whales were once odd looking rodents!!! Who would have ever guessed that they were related? In recent fossil finds prove the evolutionary similarities between the two. It has long been perceived that the closest relative was the hippo, until now. Whales were not always like the modern day ones, but more of a pig or dog with fins (much bigger of course!!!). This newly discovered creature is called “Indohyus”. Further testing is needed to support other hypotheses.
Nelson Hernandez
7th Grade Co. News Editor
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BREAKING NEWS!!!WHALE ANCESTOR FOUND!!!*At last! Finally we now know were whales came from. These creatures are believed to be the last amphibious evolutionary link to whales!!! These creatures are said to have looked something like enormous rat with longer abnormal legs!!!! Who would have ever guessed that they were related? In recent fossil finds prove the evolutionary similarities between the two. It has long been perceived that the closest relative was the hippo, until now. Whales were not always like the modern day ones, but more of a pig or dog with fins (much bigger of course.) This newly discovered creature is called “Indohyus”. Further testing is needed to support other hypotheses.
*headline? right?
cool article, i finished editing it. sorta seems short but its good.
--Sam S.
I like it, it's like the upside down pyrimid we learned about last year. Catchy stuff up top, 'boring details' at the bottom. It's EXACTLY like that, it's scary.
There are a lot of explanation points, maybe cut down on those to one (2 at max) on each sentence. It sounds more professional.
***Possible: Where you say 'In recent fossil finds prove the evolutionary similarities...' there may be good to start a new paragraph right before that sentence. I would get someone else's opinion on that before you keep it/change it.
Great overall job, and I don't think you need to make it any longer, that might be cluttering it.
Thanks,
Reilly =)
AWESOME TOPIC
Nelson Said That^^^^ =)
IM AWESOME!
-PHILIP
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